Santa proposed a girl.......
Girl: I am one year elder to u.
Santa : Oye, no problem sohniye, I will marry u next year.

00

English

Santa wanted to become as famous as Newton.
So he wrote down The Fourth Law of Motion:
Loose Motion can never be done in Slow Motion!

00

English |

एक बार संता अपनी पत्नी जीतो के साथ कॉफी पीने जाता है और
दो हॉट कॉफी ऑर्डर करता है,
कुछ देर बाद जैसे ही वेटर कॉफी लेकर आता है तो संता, जीतो से कहता है:
संता: ओ जीतो जल्दी-जल्दी कॉफी पी ले अगर ठण्डी हो गई तो फ़ालतू में ज्यादा पैसे देने पड़ेंगे!
जीतो: क्यों क्या हुआ? मुंह जलवाने से तो अच्छा है कि, यह थोड़ी ठंडी हो जाए उसके बाद पिएं!
संता: पागल तूने इनकी रेट लिस्ट नहीं देखी, हॉट कॉफी 15 रुपए और कोल्ड कॉफ़ी 45 रुपए की है!

- Hemant Singh

22

Hindi |

Santa underwear lene gaya.
Dukaandaar ne usko Rs. 500 ka underwear dikhaya.
Santa : Roz pehn-ne wala de,
party wear nahi chaahiye.

10

Hindi

Santa : Yeh kela kaise diya?
Pundit: 1 rupee.
Santa : 60 paise ka deta hai?
Pundit: 60 paise mein to sirf chilka doonga.
Santa : Le 40 paise, chilka rakh ke sirf kela de de.

10

Hindi

Santa went to doctor to loose weight.
Doctor: If you will run eight kilometers a day for 300 days, you will loose 34 kilos.
At the end of 300 days,
Santa called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
"What's the problem?" asked the doctor.
Santa : I'm 2400 kms from home..

00

English |

Santa sookhe taalaab mein boat chala raha tha.
Banta: Aise logo ne hi humaara naam kharaab kar rakha hai,
agar mujhe tairna aata to wahi jaa kar maarta saale ko..

11

Hindi

Accident hua Bahut Bhid thi,

Santa ko dekhne ka mauka nahi mil raha tha to
woh zor se chillaya "Ye mera BAAP hai"

Bheed peeche hati to dekha GADHA MARA THA.

20

Hindi |

Santa (ladki ko chedte hue):
Hor sohneyo, ki haal aa..??
Ladki (Gusse mein)
Jo teri bhen da.
Santa : Woh to pregnant hai..

10

Punjabi

Santa returns book to library, bangs it on table & says - What a shit..?
"I read the whole book, too many character, no story at all"..?
Librarian: So, you are the one who took the Telephone Directory..

00

English |

Accident ke baad.
Driver: Maine car ki headlight ON kar ke bataya tha ki
pehle mjhe nikalne do.
Santa : Maine bhi to wiper chala ke bataya tha ki 'na kaake na'.

00

Hindi

Banta: When I was born,
military people fired 21 canons.
Santa : Wow.. All missed the target.

10

English |

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