10TV reporter to Santa : Can you tell me
how many jokes are there on you?
Santa : Hardly 2 or max 3,
the rest are all true stories.
English
00SnowPoint: Doctor, which soap you use..??
Santa : Gopal soap, Gopal paste, Gopal brush..
SnowPoint: Doctor, is Gopal an International Company..??
Santa : No, Gopal is my room-mate.
English
41संता की मौत बिजली गिरने से हो गई
पर उसकी लाश मुस्कुराते हुए मिली
भगवान ने पुछा ऐसा क्यों ?
संता - मैनु लगा जी कोई फोटो खींच रहा है ..
Santa ki maut bijli girne se ho gai
par uski laash muskuraate hue mili
Bhagwan ne poocha aisa kyun?
Santa - Mainu laga ji koi photo kheench raha hai..
Hindi |
00Santa : Mobile mein recharge kar do.
Shopkeeper: Kitne ka..?
Santa : Rs. 10 ka.
Shopkeeper: 7 rs. ka talktime milega.
Santa : Koi gal nahi, 3 rs. da ''BHUJIA'' de do..
Hindi |
00मंगल ग्रह पर पानी मिलने की खबर सुन कर
संता नासा फ़ोन करता है .
संता : ओ जी यह मंगल पर पानी मिल गया आपको ..?
नासा : यस
संता : ओ जी मुबारक हो जी..इक्क बोतल पानी चाहिदा सी
नासा : सॉरी , वी कांट गिव
संता : ओह ले ..इतना पैसा खर्चा करके
पानी भी ढून्ढ लित्ता है ते दे वी नहीं रहे
बन्दा धोने क्या मंगल पे जाएगा ..
Mangal greh par paani milne ki khabar sun kar
Santa NASA phone karta hai.
Santa : O ji yeh mangal par paani mil gaya aapko..?
NASA: Yes
Santa : O ji mubaarak ho ji..Ikk botal paani chaahida si
NASA: Sorry, we can't give.
Santa : Oh le..itna paisa kharchaa karke
paani bhi dhoond litta hai te de v nahi rahe
banda dhone kya mangal pe jaayega..
Hindi |
01Santa : Yaar Banta, hum dono mein kya rishta hai?
Banta: Jo Gobar aur Uple mein hai.
Santa : Woh kaise?
Banta: Jab Gobar Santa hai, tabhi to Upla Banta hai.
Hindi
00When TITANIC was drowning, an Italian asks Santa ,
"How far is land?"
Santa :"4 kms."
Italian jumps into sea and asks,
"Which direction?"
Santa : "DOWNWARDS..!"
English
01Santa : Mere 4 beto me se 3 to engineer ban gaye,
Lekin kambakht ek DAAKU ban gaya.
Banta: To usko ghar se nikal do,
Santa : Yai to dikkat hai,
kama ke To sirf wahi lata hai.
Hindi
10In a marriage Daler Mehndi to sardaar: Bhai, kinni der gaawaaan?????
Santa : O gaa de ik adhaa,
baaki te fer sharaabian ne
GENERATOR di awaaz te hi nachchi jaanaa hai.
Punjabi
31Wife -Aji sunte ho ghar me namak khatam ho gaya he
daal me kya daalu,
Santa -Dimaag to h hi nhi
nya colgate active salt daal de
usme namak hai
Hindi
00Santa : Doctor saab mujhe chot lag gayi hai.
Doctor: Bahut gehri chot hai, taanke lagenge, 1000 Rs lagenge.
Santa : Bhutni dea, taanke laune ne, kadaai nahi karni..
Punjabi |
01Santa and Banta were playing chess.
Santa : Let's wrap up.
Banta: Yeah, anyways just your rook
and my knight are left..
Then Vishwanathan Anand comes there.
VA: Come, let's play chess.
Santa -Banta: No way, you will beat us.
VA: Ok.. You both can play as a team.
Santa -Banta: Still we will lose.
VA: Ok, i will play with left hand.
Santa -Banta: Yeah, then it's fine.
Obviously, Santa Banta lost the game and VA leaves.
Santa : It was shameful, he beat us even with left hand.
Banta: He fooled us.
Santa : How?
Banta: He must be left-handed.
English |
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