Investment Returns In One Year: Gold 28%, Silver 80%, Crude 40%, Sensex 35% & ONION 880%, Kaash.. Ek Quotes

Investment returns in one year:
Gold 28%,
Silver 80%,
Crude 40%,
Sensex 35%
&
ONION 880%,
Kaash..
Ek Lakh ke Pyaaz liye hote
to NEW YEAR ke liye Europe me hota..

A famous inspirational speaker said -
'Best years of my life were spent
in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife !'
Audience was in shock and silence.
He added -
'She was my mother.'
Applause & Laughter.
A top manager tried to crack this at home.
After a drink he said loudly to his wife , in kitchen -
'Best years of my life were spent
in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife !'
Standing for a moment
trying to recall the second half, he finally blurted out -
'I can't remember .'

If you look like your passport picture,
you probably need the trip.

Chali jaati hain aaye din woh Beauty Parlour mein sajne
aur karti hain baal kaale..
Magar yeh unko kaun samjhaaye
ki mumkin hi nahi kisi KishMish ka
fir se Angoor ho jana..

If school is not the place to sleep ,
then home is not a place to study..

Travel time from Jammu to Delhi
will now be reduced to just 6 hours but
from Delhi to Noida & Gurugram
can be 8 hours due to rains..

Patient: Aapne nurse bahut achchi rakhi hai
uske haath lagte hi main theek ho gaya.
Doctor: Jaanta hun,
chaante ki aawaaz mujhe bhi sunaai di thi.